


Hamster Troubles

by BoiLemmeDoMe



Category: South Park
Genre: Anal Sex, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Hamsters, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, Oneshot, Smut, bradley is more of a dick than anticipated, damien is try unsure how to human after all these years, fight me hellen, mentioned pinning, metions of clyde/damien, the hamsters are their kids, the most vanilla i have ever written leo, topLeopold
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-30
Updated: 2020-04-30
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:20:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23922961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BoiLemmeDoMe/pseuds/BoiLemmeDoMe
Summary: After a few months in uni Dougie finds himself once more displeased how he isn't rooming with Leo.Now if only his roommate would stop letting the neighbor in.
Relationships: Clyde Donovan/Damien Thorn, Dougie O'Connell/Leopold "Butters" Stotch
Kudos: 6





	Hamster Troubles

  
  
  


Dougie poked Turmoil's stomach gently, watching as the tiny hamster curled around his finger and let out an adorable little sound.

He sighed. He normally loved watching the hamsters--they were their children, in a way, his and Leo's--and they split custody due to the limitations of living apart.

God he wished he'd had the courage to ask Leo to go apartment hunting together when they first struck out on their own. It would have made sense! They were best friends after all, there wouldn't have been anything weird about becoming roommates!

He'd chickened out, overthinking it and panicking that if he asked Leo would know about his feelings.

And now Leo was living with Damien of all people and Dougie had never hated the demonic prince of hell more than in the days following the move.

Meanwhile Dougie was stuck splitting his apartment with some angsty goth who stayed up at all times of night with his stupid occult books.

It just wasn't fair.

Turmoil nibbled his finger curiously, as if asking if he was okay and Dougie cracked a tiny smile.

At least their hamsters were still his beloved companions. Small victories.

Leo was to say the least, oblivious to the other's plight. 

He was currently eyeing his phone as he debated a few things, he wanted to see his old friend but hand a hunch the other would be busy. He could already hear Damien rolling his eyes at his behavior. It wasn't like the antichrist could say shit though! Raking a hand through his hair he sat up in his bed as he began typing out what he believed was a valid reason to meet up. 

Said reason squeaked from his cage, demanding attention. Mayham and Havoc were always restless without their third member of the trio. It didn't help that Turmoil was a bit too big for the carrier Leo owned. 

'Hey, wanna give the hamsters a play date? Mayham looks ready to book it the chance he gets'

Dougie chuckled at the message, a soft smile taking over his features.

It was awful how Leo did that--just summoned up his smiles like magic. Even when he was feeling so melancholy.

[Sounds like a plan, my place or yours?] He hoped it was at Leo's place--he didn't want to have to see his roommates judgmental stares.

The goth never said anything but Dougie knew he'd figure out the tightrope that Dougie walked with his bestfriend and knew that the goth thought they were both stupid.

Not that Damien was much better... but at least when Damien gave him shit he could tell the devil to stuff it where his own unrequited feelings were hiding.

Fuck. They were all a mess.

Leo smiled brightly as his eyes looked over the message, he wouldn't deny he hadn't expected the other to be free.

[My place works, Damien should be back from classes soon though] 

It was common curtsey to give the warning, he knew he could easily just go to Dougies--he just seriously didn't want to be around that roommate. He was just....off. If Leo had it his way neither Dougie or Turmoil would be sharing space with the cultist. It was Dougie's choice though.

[Be there in ten.]

It was a struggle. Not overthinking what he was gonna wear. Not spending twenty minutes mussing with his hair in an attempt to command it's obedience. Not letting his steps skip as he headed out of the apartment towards the one person he wanted to be with most.

It wasn't that Dougie was particularly vain--quite the opposite--the young journalism major rarely spent more than five minutes on his appearance.

But he'd never quite gotten over the desire to find something to make Leo notice him.

By the time he made it to Leo's he'd already had to school his expectations several times. Yeah--he knew that nothing was ever going to happen between the two of them.

But every single time he couldn't help that little hope hanging on--providing him images of what if Leo just slammed against the wall and began kissing him passionately or what if Leo meekly and sweetly admitted to loving him all these years.

It wasn't healthy.

He rang the doorbell, Turmoil making trouble in his little cage.

With the time between Dougie's last text and the moment the doorbell rang Leo had made sure to clean up any lingering mess that was there. He didn't want his guest to fuss over or point out the mess, he just wanted to spend time with his long time friend and their kids.

Opening the door he couldn't help the smile on his face from hearing Turmoil starting to fuss, let alone seeing his welcomed guest. "C'mon Turmoil, you know how to behave." He chided as he moved to let them in. The sound of the hamster only alerting the others from their cage, squeaks and chittering leaving the duo as they stayed near the exit of their containment.

Dougie released the hamster to plod around Leo's room as soon as the door was shut, the warmth he always felt in Leo's presence beginning to make his world soften.

It was just them and their babies. Turmoil was remaining loyally at his feet--or nagging him to do something, you could never really tell with the grumpy fat hamster--and his eyes couldn't help but stray to Leo.

He never dared to stare--but in moments where he felt it was safe to look he always took in as much as he could.

With the door shut Leo moved to allow the other two hamsters free to roam, the two almost immediately trying to climb up Dougie--only to flop down from their failed attempt. The sight alone was enough to get the older male to laugh as he shook his head at their antics. 

Moments like this just felt right. Just time together and their pets nearby, it made the world feel fuzzier than it was moments ago. 

Dragging his eyes from the trio he locked eyes with his companion, for a moment getting stuck in his hazel eyes. "Well, make yourself at home, if you need anything the kitchen is open to you."

Dougie chuckled, Leo's semi-obsessive manners could be annoying if they weren't adorable.

Leo was adorable. No two ways about it.

"I'm good." Dougie took a seat on his bed, having done so in so many past visits he hardly thought about it. The hamsters happily took advantage to crawl up into his lap and chitter for his attention. He let Mayham muss up his clothes while he directed his attention to Leo. "Just happy to get out of the house. Firkle's been driving me up the wall lately. And Bradley, the neighbor I told you about last time, he's been coming by more often without warning. He always brings food though so I guess it's cool."

Leo furrowed his brows at the mention of Bradley, he knew logically he had no reason to be but the male just...irked him. Even growing up in the same town the kid never sat on his good side. For now he chalked it up to just reasonable worry for someone he cares about. 

Taking his usual spot by Dougie's side on his bed he bit the inside of his cheek. "That's starting to get a bit weird, has he tried anything else?" In an attempt to sooth his worries he gently pet the hamster nearest to him.

Sometimes it was hard not to lean closer when Leo sat so close. Cuddling wasn't outside of the realm of their established friendship--but Dougie had promised himself never to initiate it.

It would be wrong... it meant something different to him than it did to Leo.

Outwardly he shrugged. "Nothing much, he keeps asking me if I wanna hang out at the coffee shop lately though. When I told him we could just make coffee at my place he got awkward." Dougie frowned at the memory. "I think he doesn't like my coffee. Ass." Dougie would be the first to admit he was no chef--but he abhorred the sort of stupid cowardly way of dancing around the subject like that. He'd much prefer someone just tell him his coffee is bad than do some weird work around.

Leo could feel the all too familiar agitation bubble up, would the blonde take a hint if Dougie was blatantly turning down his invitations? 

"Whatever, he just has bad taste then." He tried to brush it off, wrapping an arm around Dougie, only to let the hamsters freely roam them both--totally why.

How did Leo always know just the right thing to say?

It was ridiculous and typical--but when he'd made the same complaint to Firkle, the goth had just treated him like he'd said something stupid--and all he'd wanted was to hear someone defend his coffee.

Apparently he was more prideful over it than he'd thought.

He rested his head on Leo's chest and let himself breathe in the scent of apple cinnamon that Leo used enough that Dougie had permanently associated the scent with the other. "I think I'll just go with him next time he asks, maybe he'll stop being so weird if I just play along." He felt calmer. What did it matter if he wasted his time with his stupid neighbor? If he had moments like this, Bradley could insult his coffee all he wanted.

Okay, it wasn't his place to butt in on the other's choices. It was Dougie's choice to play along with the moron of a narc. "If you think it's best, though if you don't want to go alone just shoot me a text. " There, simple enough. He would deal with the other turning him down, he wanted to at least have the offer open.

Dougie brightened visibly at the suggestion. If Bradley didn't show up he could pretend it was a date--he wrapped his arms around Leo's waist and looked up at the blond with a rare smile, eyes sparkling with happiness. "Thanks, Bunny. I'll do that."

Leo couldn't keep the soft smile from etching on his lips as he looked down at Dougie--just hearing the affectionate nickname was enough to make him feel warm. "Any time cuddlebug." 

It too more than he believed he had in him not to just lean down, place a soft kiss to the other--yet he did. He didn't wish to create distance in their relationship as is. Kissing him would definitely risk too much.

It was moments like these. For just a moment--Dougie could just barely imagine that maybe it was mutual--maybe... Leo might have a different kind of affection in his eyes and maybe--

He looked away from the intoxicating look on Leo's face, he couldn't keep fooling himself like this. Instead he buried his face into Leo's chest and sighed in contentment. "How about you? What's new over here?"

Leo let go of what breath was being held as he wrapped his arms around Dougie securely, closing his eyes as he tried to will away how hard his heart was beating against his ribcage. "Not much, still dealing with Damien's soap opera of a romance life. Though I'm glad you could make it."

Dougie sniggered at the reminder of Damien's circumstances. "Is he still in denial?"

He loved the feeling of Leo's arms around him. So soft and secure.

...if only Leo wanted to touch him in the same way he wanted to be touched...

"As deep as the river." Leo groaned out with a huff, resting his chin on top of the others unruly locks. "It's almost painful to see them dance around it."

Dougie giggled, rubbing a circle into the small of Leo's back absentmindedly, high on the closeness he was allowed. "I'd never be as stupid as they are. If the person I love wanted me--I wouldn't mess around like a moron."

Leo felt his heart drop as he heard it, though he forced it down with a chuckle. 

Guess that meant the feeling wasn't mutual huh?

"I mean--I'd hope I don't end up replicating them."

"It's just stupid--if the one you want wants you, why muck around about it? Just kiss already and stop making the rest of us watch your sitcom-level will-they, won't they bullshit." He squeezed Leo's waist unhappily. If there was any chance Leo was capable of loving him the way he loved him--Dougie would give up anything for that one moment. Watching someone squander the thing he wanted so badly pissed him off more than anything.

"But what if you don't know they want you? Not everyone is in Damien's position where it's beyond obvious." Leo dragged his nails along Dougie's back, thankful for the position they were in to avoid seeing how the other could react to the statement.

Dougie snorted. "I'm observant. I know when people are into me." ...not that anyone had really shown much interest in him... "I'd definitely know if someone liked me. Especially if it was the person I like--Obviously I'd be paying more attention to him than anyone else."

Well that was a punch to his gut, but he knew his chances were slim to begin with. Regardless he continued the motions as he cuddled with Dougie. "I mean when you say it like that it makes sense."

"Wouldn't you know?" Dougie asked, feeling a bit nervous as he asked. What if Leo had figured out about his crush--no, he couldn't have, Leo was painfully oblivious about this stuff.

Interrupting his thoughts, Turmoil headbutted his leg.

"I don't know, I'd like to have some hope, but you've known me long enough to know how I struggle with that." Leo Looked down to the babies on them, gently nudging the fat little guy.

"Yeah." Dougie agreed. "Don't worry. If someone likes you, I'll let you know."

Miserably he knew that he would. He couldn't deny Leo happiness--even at the cost of his own. Leo deserved so much more than to feel loveless.

Still... it wouldn't make it hurt any less when someone inevitably caught Leo's eye. They'll probably be perfect together too--happy and sappy and take all of Leo's time and affection.

Dougie would hate it when the time came. He buried his head in the crook of Leo's neck to hide his frown.

"Thanks..." He nuzzled the other as his hold tightened. He wanted to have some hope, but he knew the odds were against him. He wasn't good enough, but he wanted Dougie to be happy more. To have someone he could call his own and to be truly happy.

Well. There was nothing to do but jealously monopolize Leo's time while he could.

"What do you want to do today?" Dougie asked softly, happy to stay in Leo's arms for as long as he was able.

This was where he belonged. Where he wanted to stay.

"Want to marathon something? It's cozy here." He didn't wish to move if he didn't have to, it felt like the two of them hardly got time like this in forever.

Dougie nodded against him, smiling softly. It was nice to have an excuse to remain like this.

"You two are completely disgusting." Damien sneered from the doorway, arms crossed judgmentally.

"What? Clyde not pay attention to you today?" Leo knew he could get away with very minimal teasing, but that didn't stop him from poking the bear. Besides, he was butting in on cuddle time.

Damien growled and slammed the door shut as he stalked off to his own room.

Dougie peeked up at Leo with a sly little smile. "That's what I'm talking about--why get all grouchy and pissy, when all he'd have to do is say the word and Clyde would climb mountains to be with him."

He couldn't stop the chuckle even if he wanted to, the reaction was what he wanted. "Yeah, they're ridiculous." Mayham huffed from his perch on Dougie's leg, displeased with the hypocrisy.

It'd be so easy to close the distance between their lips and give Leo an affectionate kiss--he was so cute when he laughed--but Dougie didn't dare do so--

Only--Havoc decided he'd had enough of this and bit Dougie's fingers, causing him to jolt forward with a surprised yelp and accidentally closing the distance, eyes wide with shock at what his lips were touching.

Leo froze as he felt Dougie's lips on his own, even if he could will himself to want to pull away he couldn't. It may get the only time he would get to enjoy just how good it felt to have him so close. 

He kissed back as he held Dougie closer, scared at any moment this would be stripped from him and be left with a cold rejection.

Leo was--kissing him--

Dougie's mind went entirely blank. There was no possible explanation that he could think of to explain it--had Leo mistaken the situation? Was this a strange extension of cuddling to him--it almost sounded possible with how fucked up Leo's upbringing had been--? He remained frozen and tense as every dream he had came true--and he couldn't grasp why.

Tears welled up in his eyes. Leo was kissing him--years and years and years of pent-up emotion was threatening to break him from the inside out as he knew as sure as he knew anything in this world.

Whatever reason Leo might have for kissing him--it wasn't because his feelings were reciprocated.

Slowly Leo pulled back as he received no reaction from Dougie, the sight he was met with accompanied by how stiff the man was only confirmed his fears. "I--I'm sorry." He didn't know what else to say as his grip loosened. Allowing Dougie to leave as he saw fit.

Dougie remained frozen. He didn't cry. It wasn't in his nature. Even as a child he hadn't cried all that often. Never quite understanding others impulses to do so frequently--

But now he couldn't stop a trail of tears from spilling onto his cheeks, sniffling softly as the shock made it impossible to think.

Leo kissed him.

He didn't know how to respond, clearing the reason for Dougie crying was his actions--if he'd just pulled away none of this would be happening. At the same time Leo didn't want to fully let go, he wanted to comfort the weepy male in his arms. 

Softly he wiped the others tears, hoping it helped even in the slightest.

Dougie looked up into the confused blue of Leo's eyes when he felt the touch, his mind racing for an explanation that made sense as one word finally made its way out.

"...why?"

He didn't want to hear the answer--only... he had to. He had to know.

Wasn’t he obvious...?

Leo gave a sad smile as he leaned in, pleasing a kiss to Dougie’s forehead in a way to apologize. “I thought you wanted me, sorry for misreading.” His throat tightened as he said this, wishing he would just wake up from the nightmare this event was.

Dougie's heart twisted up into a horrible knot and if he wasn't already crying, he would have started right there--

Of course.

Leo figured out how he felt... Leo figured out how he felt and it was a pity kiss.

Oh god--he felt sick, pulling out of Leo's arms with horror on his face. The hamsters fell out of his lap as he did so.

"I--" He choked, words lost as the horrible feeling took him over entirely. He'd never wanted this--never wanted to take advantage of Leo's kindness to the point that he'd sacrifice his own happiness. "I'm sorry--" He strangled out, turning and running out of the room--out of the apartment--

Leo felt what remained of any hope crumble, tears coming to his eyes and he curled in on himself. 

Wake up, he just wanted to wake up and have everything go back to normal. He wanted to have Dougie back in his arms as he daydreamed of what could be. He buried his face in a pillow to muffle a choked sob that he couldn’t hold back.

He didn't know how he'd gotten home. Didn't respond to Firkle's question when he slammed his bedroom door shut. Didn't think. Couldn't think.

He'd ruined it.

He'd ruined everything.

A broken sob erupted from him--muted by his own pain. Followed by another.

\---

Damien ventured out of his room at the sound of commotion, coming to Leopold's door that was still open from Dougie's quick departure. Three worried hamsters fussing about the distraught blond.

"What the hell happened in here?"

“...he left.” Was all Leo could mutter out as his grip on the pillow tightened. Not even bothering to look up from the spot on his bedroom wall he had fixed his eyes to. It hurt. It hurt too much.

"Kay..." Damien drolled, nonplussed. "He leaves a lot though? You know he doesn't live here, right?"

“That’s not—“ He clenched his teeth as yet another sob threatened to rip itself from him. “I kissed him, he left clearly not happy about it.”

"Oh." Damien said, actually taken aback from the news. "Why would he run though? Douglas has been head over heels for you since forever."

Damien didn't normally take it upon himself to spill someone else's secret in such a way--but he assumed the cat ought to be out of the bag if the two of them got that far.

The words would have filled him with so much joy has he been told them moments ago. Now they were just a bitter taste in his mouth. His curled up form shook as he held in a sob. “Well he doesn’t. He booked it the moment I told him why... he doesn’t want me. Probably never has.”

That... was so many levels of false that Damien couldn't quite comprehend the stupidity of it.

Even after years of living with humans he still had some catching up to do when it came to the intricacies of human relationships--but a blind man could see Dougie's unwavering affection for the blond man. In fact it was always a wonder that Leopold hadn't figured it out ages ago.

Still, it wasn't actually his business... and he really didn't want to get wrapped up in their drama.

"Is he possessed or something?" It certainly seemed like a more plausible explanation that Douglas had suddenly gotten over Leopold after a decade of pining.

He managed to shrug, doubting it but not sure of such things.

Damien wracked his brain for what friends were supposed to do in times like these.

"Do you... need ice cream?" He ventured, feeling entirely out of his depth.

He shook his head, wanting to just not think. Leo wanted to not focus on anything, just let himself not do anything until who knows how long.

"Okay..." Damien said slowly, completely out of ideas. "Well...I'll be in the other room... call if you need me?'

It was the best he could do. He made a note to text Dougie and ask what the fuck happened.

Leo remained where he laid, eyes drifting to the hamsters as he was left alone. 

Would Dougie want full custody? Would he abandon them?

Dougie didn't answer his phone. Didn't look up from his pillow. He couldn't stop repeating the moments in his mind--thoughts taunting him of Icarus flying too close to the sun.

It was in this horrible timing that Bradley decided to invade yet again.

Whatever Firkle's reason for letting him in the front door, Dougie might never forgive him.

"Dougie? What's wrong little buddy?"

Grabbing his phone Leo wasn’t surprised when he saw no messages. Instead he simply sent a text before putting it back down. 

[do you want me to have someone give you the babies or not? I’m sorry for upsetting you]

Dougie didn't respond to Bradley. Didn't respond to anyone.

Bradley picked up the buzzing phone though and read the message, confusion on his face and decided he knew the best way to approach the situation.

[Hey, this is Bradley. Dougie seems pretty upset, what happened?]

Of course. He shouldn’t be surprised that Dougie ran off to someone better suited for him. But Bradley of all people?!

[If he won’t say then leave it be, Dougie prioritizes his privacy Bradley.]

Bradley's pride prickled at the response, sending another text impulsively. [He might be private to you but he shares with me.]

It was an outright lie--but to his credit, Bradley at least believed it to be true.

It stung, to think where Dougie had kept secrets he was able to talk to Bradley of all people just fine. After everything they’d been through! 

[Then talk to him, stop messaging me Biggle.]

[Maybe I will. Maybe I'll do more than that. More than you ever could, coward.] Bradley sent before putting the phone back down and approaching Dougie, touching his shoulder.

"Dougie? You okay? I'm here if you need to talk."

Dougie shuddered, shaking his head into his pillow.

Leo clutched his phone as he read the message over and over.

Him? A  _ coward _ ?

“C’mon kids, we need to go see Dougie.” Was all he said to the hamsters before scooping them up. 

If that bitch so much as touches a hair on his head.

Bradley didn't take the hint to leave, rubbing what he assumed were comforting circles into his shoulders.

"Did Butters upset you? You can tell me."

It was almost tempting--as much as Dougie didn't care for the others' company or touch--the idea of being able to tell someone frankly all his overflowing emotions....

It didn’t take long to get to the apartment, once outside he could feel his heart pounding as he knocked on the door. Hoping he could at least get this over with.

Firkle answered the door with a frown. "Seriously?" He asked dryly. "Whatever, I don't care." He stepped aside, letting the second guest in.

He really, really didn't want to know what Dougie's personal life was like.

Dougie managed words but only barely.

"...he found out how I feel..."

It was raw and painful to say.

And Bradley had none of the tact to handle that properly. "Forget about him." He rolled Dougie over, causing the red head to yelp in surprise. "So what if he knows? He's a coward."

A lot of things collided in Dougie's mind at once. And here was a welcome lightning rod for his ire.

A loud slap resounded in the room.

"Leo is not a coward! He was willing to--for me--!" He choked on the words, anger and emotion consuming him--and shrieking to a halt as Bradley slapped him in return.

"Bitch--" Bradley cursed, angry at his stinging cheek.

Hearing the sound of flesh meet skin harshly following Dougie’s voice Leo couldn’t stop himself from rushing to the room it came from. Seeing the red mark forming on the distraught male being more than enough for Leo to reason with himself that he didn’t need to hold back.

Leaving Leo’s coat while they could the hamsters moved to the bed whilst Leo shoved Bradley into a nearby wall. “What gives you the goddamn right to touch him Biggle?”

Dougie's eyes widened in surprise at the turnaround, mouth hanging open in shock.

"He hit me first!" Bradley cried out angrily. He was now the worst combo of emotion, angry, confused, and indignant. "You're the one who rejected him--just fuck off if you don't want him!"

“I’ve wanted him longer than you’ve known him jackass! He turned me down, but that doesn’t give you the fucking right to lay a hand on him.” 

Was his sentence flawed? Very. Did Leo care? No, clearly Dougie would only be violent if needed. He wasn’t the type to just lash out.

Dougie felt faint. This took confusing to new heights--and he wasn't sure how to handle that.

His cheek hurt and Bradley was being stupid and what was it Leo had said?

Swallowing the lump in his throat, Dougie gathered his courage and stood up.

"Leo. Let him go."

Bradley straightened up pridefully at his perceived victory before Dougie's narrowed eyes landed on him. "Bradley. Get out and stay out."

Begrudgingly let go of the idiot in his grasp, eyes trained on Biggle for any signs of his retaliation returning. 

He wanted to do worse than restrain the man, but he didn’t have it in himself to deny Dougie at least this.

Bradley made his first smart move of the day and made himself scarce, throwing an insult to them both on his way.

The strangling silence left in his wake didn't help anything.

Dougie screwed up his courage, looking at the ground as he spoke in a careful even tone. "What did you mean...?"

“...I want you, but I’m not going to force you into anything.” Leo spoke as evenly as he could, unable to bring himself to look as Dougie in fear of what he would be met with. “I thought I made that clear.”

Dougie's eyebrows nit together in confusion and he didn't dare look up from his own worn down carpet.

"...you... want me...?" It sounded strange to even say--to even consider--his heart began to throb in his chest as he considered this possibility--it still seemed impossible. Too implausible. He shook his head. "...no, you don't."

Leo clenched his fists as he struggled for the words to express himself. 

It hurt to think he wasn’t being listened to even now. 

Turning on his heel he forced himself to look at Dougie, a hand forcing the man's chin up to look him in the eyes. 

“What will it take to show I mean it?”

Dougie's heart sped in his chest.

This couldn't be reality.

It had to be a dream.

There was no reality where Leo would be looking at him like that and holding his chin up--like he could kiss him any moment.

"You can't..." Dougie said, heart clenched in conflict. "You're just confused--my feelings confused you."

“I want you.” Leo felt his chest tighten as yet again words were put in his mouth. 

“I want your smiles, I want your caring touch and snarky attitude.” He chanced placing a kiss just next to the others lips. “I want your nicknames and your warm hugs” He shook as fear crept up once more, thinking Dougie would easily turn him down as he refused again. He closed his eyes as he pressed his forehead to the others. Hoping to will away the weakness for now. 

“ I want my strawberry...”

Dougie crumbled.

He couldn't be expected to stay strong after that. It wasn't possible.

Even if Leo was just confused--he couldn't walk away from this--not twice. He'd wanted it so bad--even for a lie he wanted it.

"Leo..." He sobbed out the name, wrapping his arms around his waist and hugging him close, tears dampening Leo's shirt with fresh tears. His shoulders shook and his arms trembled--but he couldn't let go. Wouldn't let go.

This was his. He needed this. He wanted this more than he wanted air.

Leo held onto the other tightly, as though just like sand Dougie would slip from his grasp at any moment. Not caring if his shirt got stained or if the weird cultist would judge, he held Dougie as though it was the last time he ever could. 

“I want you...”

The words were so simple--and they made everything in Dougie's world feel different--light and fuzzy and wonderful.

He couldn't believe it--but he could feel it.

"Kiss me then." His voice shook as he spoke, disbelieving of his own words. But still--he wanted at least one more kiss--when he wasn't too shocked to feel it.

Grateful to have the opportunity to do so Leo didn’t hesitate, softly kissing Dougie with every ounce of affection he felt for the man in his arms. His stomach doing flips even with permission given, he didn’t want to ruin any of this more than he had.

Dougie returned the kiss, heart in his throat and pressing himself as close to Leo as humanly possible. His entire world electrified and pinpointed on this single moment in time.

It was like a song.

A song in the rain.

He smiled into the kiss, that was exactly how to describe the perfect softness and affection of Leo's kiss.

Feeling Dougie move closer Leo picked the male up. Wanting to hold him as close as he could and enjoy the feel of finally being kissed back. Just feeling him kiss back was almost enough to bring back the tears.

What if Dougie just pushed away? Decided he didn’t want him? Leo would understand, but god it would hurt far more.

He gasped in delight at having been picked up, but easily adjusted his arms to around Leo's neck, wrapping his legs around his waist. "Leo..." He said breathlessly against his lips. "My Chaos."

He couldn’t help but smile slightly as he heard the familiar nickname. Lightly pecking the others lips before trusting his voice. “All yours general, only if you’re mine.”

A happy tingle ran down Dougie's spine and to his shock--his eyes felt wet again.

He was crying over some simple words--he wasn't even sad--it was incomprehensible.

"I never thought..." Most of his life he'd been in love with Leo. Most of his life he'd followed behind like a good minion, stayed at his side like a friend, and patiently waited for the day he'd lose him to a grand love. "...you're sure?" He tightened his grip around Leo's neck tightly, eyes searching Leo's for signs of deception.

Leo gently ran the pad of his thumb along Dougie’s cheek, the soft smile not leaving his face as he maintained his hold. The was the very person who stayed by his side no matter what dumb idea he had in mind. Even made sure to talk him out of it if the plan was too ambitious. He’d be a fool to turn down the moment to actually have his long term love.

“I’m positive.”

Dougie's face broke down, whatever composure he'd been able to hold onto cracked and faded away. If asked the emotion on his face--he wouldn't have been able to say.

He didn't know anything but the open look of affection on Leo's face.

"I love you." the words found their own way out, drawn from the deepest depths of his own emotions. Raw and untethered. The feeling that ached in his heart every time he saw Leo given words. And still it wasn't enough. "I love you."

Leo moved to sit on Dougie’s bed, pressing soft kisses to the freckles on the others face. “I love you too.” It came out gently, caring as he lightly traced the man's back.

Dougie closed his eyes as he took it in, more tears raining down. It was too good to be real.

And yet he could feel every one of Leo's kisses and he blanketed his affection.

"But I love you." Dougie repeated, as if his meaning hadn't gotten across somehow. "Leo... I love you."

It was like every time he'd practiced admitting it wasn't enough--the millions of confessions he'd suppressed inside of him needed to come out somehow. He opened his eyes, looking meaningfully into the impossible blue of Leo's. "I love you so much..."

Leo nodded to show he was listening, placing a kiss to Dougie’s nose. “I love you too, so fucking much ...”

Dougie gave a watery smile. He wanted to believe it so badly--and he couldn't help but fall further just listening. Feeling. Being here.

"You're sure?" He asked again, kissing Leo's nose in return. "This is your last chance to back out."

Leo couldn’t keep the small bit of laughter bubbling as the gesture was returned. In cloud nine with the simple fact that Dougie said I love you.

“I’m more than sure, I want you cuddlebug.”

Fuck it.

Dougie pulled Leo into a needy kiss, funneling all of his frustration and desires into it.

His. Leo was his and anyone who said different was asking for a fight.

Leo hummed in delight as he kissed back, a hand tangling in Dougie’s hair as he drowned in the feeling. Finally, Dougie was finally truly his.

Dougie practically purred in satisfaction, sucking Leo's bottom lip and looking up at Leo with bedroom eyes.

A million times Leo had scooped him up into his arms--and a million times it had just been as friends.

And now he was in Leo's arms and the man wanted him.

"Why, Professor." Dougie quirked his lips upwards into a teasing smile. "Saying you want me can have a lot of meanings."

Just as it messed with him in the past Leo couldn’t help the way hearing the title roll off Dougie’s tongue made him excited. 

God, that smile—-the look in his eyes—

“I’m aware, though you seem to not mind this.”

"Why would I mind?" He leaned in, breath ghosting Leo's ear as he whispered darkly. "Do you have any idea how long I've wanted you?"

Allowing his hands to slip under Dougie’s shirt Leo resisted the urge to bite his lip. Just how many times had he caught himself imagining something akin to this? 

That was an impossible question to answer. When had he first reached into his pants, closed his eyes, and imagined it was Leo touching him? When had his eyes first trailed to Leo's lips while the blond spoke? When had the impossible yearning inside of him become what it was now?

"When you started highschool..." He recounted, a low and quiet confession for Leo's ears only. "And I started chewing on pens when we hung out--I wasn't imagining it was a pen."

His hands freely roamed the expanse of the others back before moving to ghost along his chest. Leo hummed in acknowledgement, trailing slow and deliberate kisses down Dougie’s neck, nipping the tender skin at the base of it.

Dougie shivered, the feel of Leo's touch making him weak. "When did you... start...?" He asked, burning with curiosity.

Leo took the time it took to remove Dougie’s shirt to figure out just when did he start thinking of him like that. 

“It had to be the summer before freshman year, we were going swimming.”

Drinking in the sight of Dougie’s bare skin Leo dragged his teeth along the others chest before sucking a dark hickey on his pale skin. “You have no idea how hard it was not to look at you.”

Dougie gulped, his insides doing a complicated duet of emotion. All that managed to come out was a strangled. "...that long?"

Leo had wanted him that long?

Leo  _ wanted  _ him?

It was probably the first time that he believed it. Actually believed it. It wasn't--a random pity impulse--

Leo had wanted him all this time.

His breath caught in his throat and his fingers clung desperately to Leo's shoulders. "Look at me now then--" He begged breathlessly. "Never stop--be mine, Leo." Please.

“As if I ever stopped.” He groaned out, grinding against Dougie as he moved his hands to grip the man's hips.

It was still bizarre to know he finally had Dougie in general let alone in this position. It was impossible for him not to get hard with how close the man was.

Dougie let out a sharp gasp, instinctively returning the motion. "I can't believe it..." He said, letting out a watery laugh. The shock that Leo actually wanted him hitting him in waves that was drowning him in emotion. "Leo--I need you--" He whimpered, nipping down Leo's throat with sloppy kisses. His heart hammering as he rolled his hips for friction. "I need you so badly--you're mine--my Leo, my Chaos, my love--" He choked on the words, lips trembling against the base of Leo's neck.

A low moan left Leo as he rolled his hips in turn, arching his neck to allow Dougie better access.

“Remove them.” He ordered as he snapped the waistband of the other’s pants against his skin.

"Yes." Dougie shuddered at the command--he'd always secretly loved when Leo bossed him around. When Leo wanted something from him bad enough to become uncharacteristically demanding--it made Dougie weak.

He wiggled out of his pants and boxers, eager to obey--but even more eager to rid himself of anything dividing them.

He wanted to feel Leo.

Leo resisted the urge to ride Dougie of his clothes himself, needing to handle his own after all. 

Finally he was going to be able to feel everything Dougie had to offer him.

“Got any lube sweetheart?”

Dougie nodded, biting his bottom lip as he nodded towards his bedside table--the drawer contained a few of his toys as well and he wasn't sure how Leo would respond to seeing them.

How would Leo respond to knowing who he'd fantasized about?

Nodding Leo went over to fetch it, though he was a touch surprised by the size of one of them.

“Damn, preparing for something?” He couldn’t help but tease, getting some lube on his hand as he motioned for Dougie to lay out.

Dougie laid down obediently, hiding his face in his pillow at the comment. "...maybe..." He said meekly.

A chuckle left Leo, not giving any warning before thrusting his fingers inside. Scissoring them as he made it his goal to leave no space untouched. 

“Wanted me so bad you were willing to stretch yourself on that thing?” He chided against the shell of Dougie’s ear. “Yet all this time all you had to do was ask.”

Dougie's body jolted at the intrusion, his hole sucking Leo's fingers in greedily as the ginger attempted to catch his breath.

"I want you--" He breathed, obediently asking. "I want your cock inside of me, Professor. I want you to mess me up--please--"

Leo bit his lip to hold off from groaning, the sight and sound of Dougie begging for his cock was enough to get it to twitch with anticipation. 

He wanted inside so bad, but god he wanted to make Dougie mad with want.

He pushed another finger inside, searching out for the man's prostate.

Dougie wriggled at the sensation, letting out little moans of appreciation. "More--" He breathed, breath hitching as Leo found the sensitive bundle of nerves.

Leo was stretching him and teasing him and wanted him.

He could cry again. It was so much more than he ever could have imagined.

"I never thought--you'd touch me like this..."

"You have no clue how bad I've wanted to. I want you to beg for more, to show me just how bad you want me inside of you." Leo rammed his fingers against the bundle of nerves once found. His free hand gripping the others thigh hard enough to bruise as he held himself back.

Dougie trembled, a whimpering moan escaping him. His legs twitching for more--his cock throbbing for attention.

He closed his eyes in an attempt to mitigate the stimulation. Letting his thoughts out in a filthy monologue. "I think about you--almost every night--I imagine how your soft hands would feel--ah--how you would look at me--force my legs apart an...and--Leo--ta-take me..." He whimpered shamefully, throat dry from the confession. "I've wanted this so badly for so long... when you touch me I can't think of anything but you." He opened his eyes, looking at Leo with lusty affection. "I'll be your anything for that. Just to have you." His voice was laden with desire and truth. "I want your heart--your body--please--I want you--"

The confession was one that wasn't expected, but god did he adore hearing every bit of it. 

Pulling his fingers out Leo lined himself up before forcing his way inside of Dougie. "I want you." He moaned out, rolling his hips experimentally against the other before nearly pulling out, ramming back inside without remorse as he did so. "Fuck I want you." 

He pulled Dougie's hair, raking his teeth along the unmarked skin before biting down. He wanted to leave evidence of this, show off this person was his and only his.

"Ahh--" It was incredible. Dougie's entire body tingled with the sensation. His breathing nothing more than gasps of pleasure with every thrust. The rough way Leo handled him--the dark sound of his voice--Dougie groaned in pleasure, tangling his fingers in Leo's soft hair and letting himself be marinetted to Leo's delight.

"I love you--" He gasped, his legs wrapping around Leo's waist to get him in deeper. "Please--ahhh~ so big~" His walls clenched around Leo's cock, the girth stretching him significantly.

"Mine." Leo groaned out between thrusts, leaving a trail of biting kisses as he kept going. Nothing his imagination could bring out would be able to compare to this. The feel of Dougie clenched around his aching cock--the undeniable want and desire lacing every syllable as he begged for more.

"Do you hear me? Mine."

"Yes--" Dougie moaned, eyes glazed over with pleasure as he was consumed by his lover. His glasses bumped off of his face by the sheer force of Leo's needy thrusts. He didn't care if he could see or not--he didn't even care if they broke--everything was just Leo. "I'm yours--I've always been yours--" The words made his voice break, being able to say them out loud for the first time. "I'll always be yours--"

Leo came inside of Dougie with a choked moan, unable to bring himself to halt his movements as the force of his orgasm wrecked through him. 

Forcing his hand from the other’s thigh he began to pump the neglected cock. Wanting to bring his lover to his release.

Dougie didn't take long, cumming obediently in Leo's hand with a low groan of pleasure. Body going boneless as the pleasure wracked through him and stole all of his strength.

He gasped out a disbelieving giggle. "You just... had sex with me..."

A breathless chuckle left Leo as he pulled out, scooping up Dougie in his arms. "And I'll gladly do it again sweetheart."

"You'd better." Dougie mumbled, nuzzling against him and clinging to his chest. "...I don't know how to handle losing you..."

Lightly dragging his nails along the others back Leo pressed a kiss to Dougie's head. "I love you so much."

Dougie smiled softly, kissing Leo's chin. "I love you, too." He giggled again, the last few hours coming back to him at full force. "...I can't believe I can tell you that now."

"I thought you had a thing for Bradley until now..." He admitted softly, feeling dumb for having thought so to begin with, but he needed to get it off his chest.

Dougie let out a surprised scoff. "Bradley? Why would I like him?" His face knit with confusion. "He's so... Bradley." He said the last word like it was the most insulting word he could think of. He pouted up at Leo. "Why would you think that? I was always telling you how annoyed I was with him..."

"Damien says that all the time about Clyde, look where they are." Leo felt his face heat up in embarrassment, how was he to know that wasn't normal for most people?

"I mean... but Damien's an idiot." Dougie complained, poking Leo's cheek accusingly. Trying to hide the smile threatening to break his pout. "Do you think I'm an idiot?"

"No...I think Bradley is." He looked down with a huff. "He'd have to be to act as he did."

"Yeah, that was pretty weird." Dougie admitted, remembering the slap. "Though I did hit him first... but also he was insulting you, so fuck him."

"Hopefully he'll keep his distance, I can't stand him." Gently he felt the abused cheek, trying to see how bad the hit was.

"Eh, knowing him, he'll be around tomorrow." Dougie rolled his eyes. "I really don't know why Firkle keeps letting him in."

The thought of the idiot showing up everything--potentially harming Dougie again. "Remind me again why you had me put him down."

Dougie considered this before answering honestly. "Because he's not worth our time and I wanted to be alone with you."

Leo tightened his hold on Dougie as he found a hard time disagreeing, after all if they hadn't gotten time alone they wouldn't be as they were currently. "If he touches you can I feed him to Turmoil?"

Dougie giggled. "No--I wouldn't wanna give him indigestion." He put a finger to his lips thoughtfully. "But--we don't have to deal with him at all if I spend more time at your place."

Now that was something he wasn't opposed to. "When you put it like that, I can see if we can add you on the lease. Of course if that's okay with you."

Dougie rested his chin on Leo's chest, looking at him with a half-teasing, half-amused smile. "Are you asking me to move in with you, Bunny?"

Leo ran his fingers through Dougie's hair, smiling softly at the other. "Well, do you want to?"

"Yes." Dougie replied with a kiss.


End file.
